A tough blow and my recent motivation for running

So in life normally you have a plan. At least I try to have a plan. Kinda like a "life plan" but with Chris' military schedule you never know. After we had Audrey and things settled down a bit I always wanted a few more kids quick to keep them close together and then before I knew it I wanted to finish school first, and then we knew that Chris was deploying again so I put a halt to all of the baby talk for awhile. He was not here when I had Audrey and I refused to have go through labor and delivery again without being able to throw a hard object at Chris. No but being pregnant the whole time he was in Iraq and then not having him home for when I had Audrey was tough so we decided to wait until after this deployment to think about baby fever. So Chris got home from Afghanistan in September, Audrey turned 4 in October and I wanted to get through the holidays and let things settle down from homecoming before we decided to go back to the baby stage. 

So the holidays came and went and before we knew it we were pregnant! Very quickly I might add. But just as sudden as we were pregnant we lost the baby. So within a few month time period we had a pattern of this getting pregnant then not being pregnant. So by #3 in a short period of time the doc knew something was up... what?! I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and a perfectly healthy baby with Audrey now you are telling me I may never be able to have kids again. Not once did I ever think that it would be a problem having another baby. That was hard to digest. Turns out he thinks I have aquired a blood clotting disorder which is making it almost impossible for my baby to carry a baby without medical intervention. So after sitting in my doctors office for an hour as he explains the options I was in shock then I began to sob. I am healthy, I work out, I am not under a huge amount of stress (normally) lol but I don't smoke, sure I enjoy a Miller Lite every once in awhile but I do everything right. So why me? He couldn't give me an answer. All he could do is give me options. I won't weigh all those out on here but what we decided that as family we were not ready to take on all the testing, injections and the thought of bed rest and a high risk pregnancy right now. Right now (and maybe never) was not a good time for us to try and pregnant again I had been through to much emotionally and physically the few months prior.  My "life plan" of having a few more kids and having a big family suddenly had to get reevaluated. So that's what I did. I reevaluated our life plan and I realized how lucky I am to have Audrey and that some women never find out why they cannot have kids. At least I had some answers even if I did not want to hear it at first. It's been a few months now since we received that news and we are completely content where we are at now. If we only ever have Audrey that is completely okay with us and I got the whole "you are still young" sympathy thing from a lot of people and yes we are still young so if in 6 months or 4 or 5 or even 6 years down the road we decide to try again that is always on option. But for now I want to concentrate on Audrey and my marriage. 

And then there is running. Running has always been an outlet for me. I wanted to run the Glass City marathon this past spring but that was in the madness of being pregnant, not being pregnant and my doctor advised me to cool it with long runs and such. But now that we have put having another baby on hold for awhile I am making my running a large priority in my life. I am excited for this summer and how many miles I can log. I started keeping track in a notebook and I am going to see how many I can get in between Memorial Day and Labor Day and follow that up with the Detroit Marathon in October. I think that eating clean, running, and working out will be the best thing for me and taking my body to the next level as far as fitness. I have always worked out out but sometimes half assed and sometimes I don't really take my runs and running serious. But knowing that I won't be getting pregnant anytime soon I am excited to see what I can do physically. It is time to do something for myself and I am excited for this journey :) Stay tuned as I'd like to post my runs and eating on here as I have time! Thank you to everyone for their support during such a tough time! And after a tough spring I am completely content with our little family of three it doesn't get better than this!

Praying Matises are good bugs... right?!

This is a story you would have to had seen to believe.. okay maybe you would have not wanted to see this. Audrey loves playing in the dirt, searching for worms, making homes for them and keeping them in her room. I have never had a problem with this. On a constant basis there is a whole shelf full of plastic containers with bugs in them. Normally they die or we chuck them out before the worms dry out no biggie. I love this about her that she loves to get dirty, she is not afraid of bugs but still likes the girlie princesses, putting nail polish over her dirty toenails (which I scrub but can not get them clean). I've learned nail polish is the best solution for dirty toenails for the summer lol anyways she loves bugs. So a few weeks ago while Chris was clearing some brush from the yard to burn he came across a cocoon on a small stick. Audrey was thrilled, Chris wanted to burn it but she HAD to keep it! So she ran it up to her room and put it in a plastic container (no lid I might add). She was ecstatic. So the weeks went on I kinda forgot about it and at most I thought a moth or something might come out of it. She had waved it around on the stick nearly smacking it on the wall, it sat on her window sill through cold nights, I honestly figured whatever was in there was never coming out. She on the other hand insisted a beautiful butterfly would emerge and then she would let it free. Okay, Audrey that is what we will do. But that is not what happened...

Audrey came running downstairs one evening, "Dad! There is a centipede on my bed!" Now I must say she does not like those although never do I... the legs creep me out. Anyways I sent Chris up there to do the dirty work and I figured it was the end of the story. As he slowly walks downstairs with a confused look on his face he says, "it wasn't a centipede... there were 3 baby praying mantises on her bed..." And he even did the short arm impression of them lol Suddenly the light bulb went off in both of our heads "OMG where is the cocoon?!!" As we went running up there it was a sight I was not prepared for. The beautiful butterfly cocoon that Audrey thought she had was actually a praying mantis cocoon!! And within minutes hundreds of these baby praying mantises were swarming out of their home and all over Audrey's room! They were about an inch long and kind of translucent and did look similar to those centipedes you get in your basement. I am not terribly afraid of bugs but I started to freak out. Chris just stood there almost in shock also I think. By now she had an infestation of praying mantises in her room! My first thought was to get the cocoon that continued to produce the mantises out the window so with a quick throw the cocoon went flying down two stories. The slow ones who hadn't made it out of their home probably survived the fall but everyone else was not so lucky. Chris immediately grabbed a can of bug killer and at least had enough sense to grab the bunny and guinea pig cage out of her room and began spraying. After unleashing an entire bottle all over her room we just shut the window and door and hoped that we got them all. 

Now, let me throw this disclaimer in there. I feel really bad about this. I would have never wanted to kill that many praying mantises I know they are good bugs and they are very cool when then are grown up there was no other option. There was no way that I could safely get them all out of her room I had no option. Next time we will be much more cautious about the bugs and cocoons being brought into the house. Never would I have imagined that small cocoon would have been a home to so many bugs.

Then the clean up process started... Luckily for Chris he left the next morning for training for two weeks so of course I was left to deal with it. After making Audrey a cozy bed on the couch for the night I have to evenutally go back in there. If you can imagine unleashing an entire bottle of bug killer on your 4 year olds room without regard you can imagine that everything had to be cleaned, washed, bleached, shaken out (the dead bodies were everywhere) and swept. So with my hazmat attire on I proceeded to begin the painstaking process of cleaning her room. And by the next day she was hoarding in roley poleys and worms again which is fine but another cocoon will have to pass through me before it comes into the house. Or maybe I should have paid a little more attention to my entomology (study of insects) class in college... I was a science major for petes sake! 

Hey guys! It's been awhile...

So my blog has seen better days. I haven't checked or updated in nearly two months! As this blog started it was a way of tracking and documenting our deployment last year and with Chris coming home last fall seems as if the blog took the backseat or as if there wasn't much to blog about. Life as civilians settled back in and life is good.  Another main reason for this blog was to keep Chris updated with pictures and stories from home. Let me tell you I really did enjoy keeping this blog while he was deployed. But now that he is back home and on Guard status (if that is even a word) he is home everyday and active duty military life has subsided for now (and that is okay with me). I decided to jump back on here today because Chris left yesterday for a little over two weeks for their annual training. Some say two weeks no biggie but as he left yesterday the memory and daily routine of him being gone quickly kicked in. This is the longest he has been gone since returning home after a year away last September. As the days were looming nearer I could feel myself getting anxious. I am not sure why... I mean I know 2 weeks is nothing compared to a few deployments yet I knew that this would be the first time Audrey and I would be left alone... again. The only problem with these short trainings is that by the time I get her in a routine and used to him being gone, he will be back. Which is fine of course! Well, enough about my whining about two weeks because honestly it isn't anything to stress about. Audrey and I will have fun these two weeks and keep as busy as possible! So what is going on here you ask? Or maybe you didn't but here is a quick rundown on life here...

Lets start with Audrey... whew! where do I begin? She is still doing gymnastics every week and loves it! She really took to it and actually she is really good (I'm not just saying that because I am her mom) her instructor as well as other parents can see her improvement as she progresses in the program. Other than gymnastics she loves to be outside, play in the dirt, and play with bugs (I'll share the latest bug story on another post...eekk) She missed the kindergarten birthday cutoff date by a few weeks so she will be starting a pre K in the fall in preparation for kindergarten the following year. And other than that she is your normal 4 year old who is a very bright and energetic kid!

Chris is still working at the Andersons but will be on active duty orders all summer which will be a nice break from work for him. He's still doing the gym thing and people definitely notice. I give him credit he gets up for work at 3am everyday, does his 8 or more hours, then hits the gym for a few hours all before I get home from work. We have been going to a few country concerts lately since he missed last summer and then spent memorial day weekend up North camping. Definitely a nice break from the city!

As for me I am debating on going back to school already! Am I crazy? No but it is something that I want to do and even though I have my Bachelors degree I want me. Kicking around nursing school or Grad school but debating on which direction to take. I am still running but taking it much more seriously as of late. Looking to log some massive miles this summer and get back into marathon shape... the plan is to run a fall marathon! Other than that Audrey and I will spend our summer nights outside and hope these two weeks fly by without a hitch! Look for more blog posts now that I am back into the groove here :)