Fleas...

So on top of my already over flowing plate I found a flea on Hudson yesterday... sweet. He was due for Frontline and within days of overlapping his dose I find fleas. So today right after class and running on only a few hours of sleep I stop and get both Hudson and Oliver their Frontline not a big deal hopefully this will take care of it. I get home exhausted and start to administer. Well I open Hudson's first and of course he runs like usual like I am about to administer a rectal exam or something. He is dramatic. Anyways, I move on to Oliver and then chase Hudson down and put the stuff on him and all is well... for about a minute.

Hudson and Oliver were screwing around in the other room and when Oliver comes back he's foaming at the mouth. On my God my first thought. Did I mix up their doses? I quick try to make Oliver drink water which he refuses and then I panic. Hudson's dose is for extra large dogs (89 lbs. plus) and Oliver is an average size cat. I quick call someone, anyone. I called my sister in law, Ann. She's good with animals she must know what is going on. She did not know... so we both started Googling. What we saw was not good... fatal for pets if overdosed and if I switched them it would be an overdose for sure for Oliver.

So I go back to packages... staring at them.... did I mix them up? I am trying to replay my steps as the packages are almost identical except for the little print on the back that says "for dogs" or "for cats". How did I mess this up? And then I have a meltdown... I continue to look at the grim diagnoses online if I did mix them up and now I am hysterical. I quick rush him to the bathtub and try to wash what may have been a fatal dose of Frontline or an unwarranted bath. Then I can't seem to convince myself one way or another as I stare at the boxes and packages. I frantically try to think exactly what I did, which dose I picked up first and I couldn't. My mind was going a million miles a minute. Then I think about how careless that was and how what other careless things I could have done in my sleep deprivation and stress.

I thought how could I possibly tell Chris in Afghanistan that I killed his cat over my own carelessness. And how could I ever tell Audrey. But as quickly as he acted so ill he suddenly was fine. He was eating only a few minutes later and drank some water. I still do no know what happened. Maybe I never even mixed them up to begin with.  Maybe they received the right dose and Oliver got a little in his mouth. Maybe he got a little bit of Hudson's in his mouth when they were in the other room. But maybe I did give him the wrong dose. Either way there is nothing I can do but monitor him and just keep an eye on him and he seems fine as the evening goes on. Hopefully there will be no grim news come tomorrow morning.

This incident did show me I need to just relax. I need to get some sleep, I need to take a break, I need to just breathe. Something as simple as mixing up the medicines for pets could turn into such a disaster. And as I run this life a million miles a minute as most busy moms do, I realize we all need to step back for a second and take a deep breathe. I will never forget that woman on Oprah a few years back that left her sleeping baby in the car on a hot summer day while she was at work because she forgot to drop her off at daycare. The baby died because of the busy stressful lives we all lead. Not that I could ever forget Audrey jabbering in the backseat, but I am sure that mom would have said the same thing.

So after my hysterical meltdown I vowed to take a break if even for the rest of the day or weekend before another hectic week begins. So hopefully everything will be fine with Oliver and I was just second guessing myself and turning it into something it was not. But it could have turned into something tragic. Enjoying a quiet evening at home with a glass of wine tonight.

16 weeks down!

Can you believe it? 16 weeks! I feel like I shouldn't be counting in weeks anymore but in months! Almost 4 months down!!

This past week was probably most exciting week we have had since Chris left for Afghanistan. Generally our weeks are pretty routine and busy but last week was a workload... in a good way. We welcomed Baby Carter to our family and both Audrey and I have enjoyed having a new baby around so much!! I cannot believe he is over a week old already and by the time Uncle Chris meets him he will be at least 5 months old!

Also, this week was the Glass City Marathon that I do not need to elaborate on it anymore but wonderful weekend it was. A great accomplishment and wonderful people to share this experience with! I am looking forward to getting some rest and not stressing about adding running into my busy schedule and just getting out when I can.

As for Chris he is still in route to his new base and the communication is pretty decent. He has access to WiFi so I am able to talk to him via text message everyday :) Audrey is doing very well but told me the other day how hard it is without her dad. And that another kid's dad picked him up from school and why couldn't her dad pick her up. She still does not understand the realm of everything but we are chugging right along almost into May!

May will be another busy month including my birthday (uh oh, I may be getting officially old) headed to the Eric Church concert and some (hopefully) warmer weather! And I want to plan some kind of "vacation" for Audrey and I. When Chris is home we are always going somewhere... Hocking Hills, Kalahari, camping, Cedar Point... seems like at least once a month we are normally headed somewhere but now that he is deployed I feel like we shouldn't be doing those fun things without him. But I know for Audrey sake (and my sanity) we need to still be going places or doing things. Plus, I know that Chris wants us too! So with some warmer weather headed our way I want to take a break from this hectic life and get away for a few days. Finished with 16 weeks with the deployment and time seems to be flying by!

Glass City Marathon... Team Miller

I have always enjoyed running for as long as I can remember. I guess either you love running or you hate it. I have always loved it. Last summer I began training and registered for the Detroit marathon in the fall only to find out Chris' Call to Duty ceremony would be held the same weekend so obviously the marathon would have to wait. When the time for thinking about the Glass City Marathon came around I had mixed feelings. I thought there is no way I will be able to train without Chris home. I am very much a morning person so it is much easier to get up when it is still dark out to run and leave Chris and Audrey home sleeping. Can't really do that now that Chris is gone so I had to come up with some creative training. We invested in a treadmill and I decided I would run the Glass City but still was not sure if I could do the full. After talk to my cousins we decided we would all run in support of Chris... well then of course I had to run the full!! So we put a team together and quickly became Team Miller and it just grew from there! The Glass City Marathon would be my first full marathon!!

Myself and my cousin Erik would run the full, we had 4 half marathon runners and three 5K runners!

Along with countless supporters in red shirts on the day of the race.

Even prior to race day the support was amazing. Between Beth working so hard to get the shirts organized and the Frickers girls surprising me with shirt for them to wear at work this weekend and the day of the race, the support for Chris was overwhelming.

We Frickin' Support our Troops!

My friend Steph from work got in touch with Ray Frick who paid for the shirts and she had them made in support of Chris. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I have worked for this company for over 5 years and I am so lucky to have such a great job. So many people knock servers and bartenders but I tell you what, I could not ask for anything better while Chris is deployed. They are so supportive of him and so helpful with my hectic schedule. I want to personally thank Frickers in Bowling Green for all of your support!!

By race morning my nerves had the best of me. I had been plagued by injury and I could barely walk on my knee let alone run 26.2 miles on it. But I had to. I had to finish this thing no matter how much pain I was in. I had to finish it for Chris, for Alpha Company and for all of our troops. So I tried to mentally prepare myself for the morning that may push me to my physical and mental limits.

Being on the side lines a few weeks out by race day I was happy with just finishing this thing. It was my first full marathon so I did not know what to expect and I felt as if I was not fully trained to run the full but excuses aside I was going to finish. My goal was anything under 5 hours. I did not care if it took me 4hours and 59 minutes so I set a reasonable goal and wanted to reach that by finishing at anything under 5 hours.

Along with my family supporters a couple friends came out in support of Chris and our cause! Katie, Ali, and Chelsea became my cheerleaders and my photographers during the whole race. Every few miles I would see them in their red Team Miller shirts yelling and cheering while snapping pictures and giving me some motivation. I seen them zooming around in their car snapping pictures hanging out the windows screaming, honking their horns to help me get to that next mile marker! They were amazing!!

This is my favorite! I had this thing about Mile 19... it freaked me out. Prior to the race I thought how would I be able to run over 7 miles after already running 19 so the girls were waiting at Mile 19 for me. And of course there was a hill!! Coming up that hill I was struggling but Katie was cheering for me!

Team Miller

Erik repping Team Miller!

I tried to smile as much as possible... somehow that made it easier!

I couldn't wait to get back to see this little face!

I did not even realize Audrey was behind me... I was just ready to be done! As you can tell from my face! What a great picture!

Under 5 hours... that's all that mattered! 4:45 chip time! I will take it!

Audrey even finished the race!!

When we crossed the finish line she said, "We are the winners Mommy!" Yes, we are!

Erik and I! Full marathon finishers!

And even Audrey was on the news!

I don't think any of it really sunk in until the next day. I thought for sure I would cry but as I started to well up with tears around mile 24 I couldn't breathe. So I had to concentrate on my breathing and running because it was all mental at this point and I couldn't cry. I thought about Chris the whole time and the amount of people that had come out in support of him and his guys. And as the days go on after the marathon I think it begins to sink in more and more. The fact that I ran that thing, the amount of people that ran and the support of everyone else. There was a total of 152.3 miles ran for Team Miller at the Glass City Marathon in support of our troops!

Post race I was not able to talk to Chris and it wasn't until evening our time that I was able to talk to him. That was the hardest part because he is so supportive of everything that I do and even thousands of miles away he was still able to support and motivate me. I could not wait to tell him how I did and how much support he has here!

What an amazing experience for an even better cause. Two days after the marathon I still can barely walk but it was all worth it. I am so excited to look forward to Detroit because Chris will be just getting home for that one in the fall :) But for now I am resting for awhile.

But this wasn't about me. This was about our troops. We did this for them not for personal records or for anything else. This was for Chris. When Erik crossed the finish line he showed off his Team Miller shirt in support of Chris! From all of Team Miller we want to thank our troops and the sacrifices they make everyday!! So thank you to my amazing husband, all of Alpha Co. and all of our troops both home and away. We want you to know how much we support you and thank you for everything you do!! We cannot wait until you are all home!!

To see more pictures from the marathon check out the link to my Facebook page!

Glass City Marathon Pictures

Welcome Baby Carter!

On April 16th Audrey welcomed her cousin Carter Joseph! What an exciting time for our entire family!

6lbs. 10 oz. 19 1/2 inches

Born at 9:54 AM



Tiny little feet

Mommy and Carter

The first time Audrey met him. A little shy at first

Audrey brought him that teddy bear. She says they are sharing it

Audrey and Aunt Cass

Love

 And I am an Aunt!

I couldn't stop looking at him. Someone called me Aunt Brittany and it seemed so weird. What a wonderful new role to step into. Audrey was the first grandchild so this is my first time being an aunt. How exciting!!

Grandpa

The blonde hair blue eye baby we expected. Everyone says that Audrey is an twin of Cassy... so we decided Carter would look just like me :) Light hair and light eyes... I think we are off to a good start!

Cousins :)

Love

Aunt Ann with her niece and nephew

Kisses

She warmed up to him very quickly

Day 2... he was a little jaundice

Still trying to be the center of attention

Home from the hospital and still obsessed

What a wonderful addition to our family. How exciting this is for everyone! I am so excited to be an aunt :) And Carter takes care of my baby fever that I have and something to keep us very busy while Chris is gone to keep time moving quickly.

Emails to Chris... Team Miller

This is an email I sent to Chris recently.  Obviously I do not publicly share emails that I send to him but this one I felt was okay to share... shows a lot of the emotional that I have felt the last few days. I cannot explain my gratitude that I have for Team Miller!! "We Frickin' Support out Troops!!"



Hey baby I just wanted to write and tell you a few things and feel free to share with your guys if you want. You have no idea the emotional over load that has hit me the last few days. First, when we decided to run this marathon I never knew the magnitude in which it would reach. Lets start with Team Miller and how many people have come together to order shirts, decided to run, or just come out and in support you, your guys and all of our troops. It is amazing the amount of support we have here at home. We have 2 full marathon runners (me being one of them ... fucckkkk) 4 half marathon runners and six 5K runners!!! Along with countless Team Miller supporters that will be there Sunday morning in their red shirts. To top that off the girls from work have ordered shirts (without me knowing) to wear at work this weekend in support of "Team Miller & our Troops". A few girls had these ordered and Ray Frick himself paid for them in support of our troops and the sacrifices that ALL of you guys make everyday. I literally sobbed the whole way home from work because this is such a wonderful way to support our troops and our family! I was overwhelmed at such a wonderful gesture!!  Frickers, as well as all of the Team Miller supporters thank you guys so much!!  I want you  and all of you guys to know how much you mean to all of us here and how much we support you. Customers asked me repeatedly what the shirts were about and as I fought back the tears I explained our cause and why we are running this weekend.. One told me, " Your husband is the reason I can be drink this beer." And then proceeded to tell me how strong I was here at home. He wanted to make sure that you knew how thankful he was as I think he fought back the tears. Heroes in Action has donated flags and Aunt Kim put together little bags for everyone. I just want you guys to know the support you have here at home. On you hard days, remember the support you have at home. Audrey and I miss you so much but remember how many people are thinking about you and you guys. This weekend will be a long one for everyone but know how many people are coming together for our troops!! I cannot wait to show you all of the pictures!!
I love you... Goodnight.

15 Weeks Down

Quite frankly  I do not remember week 15.

 I know we made it out to Maumee Bay and we went to Pearson but as week 15 came to a close we were preparing for Baby Carter and every since then seems like everything has been moving at a very fast pace. Sunday afternoon Cassy wanted to go walking at Pearson as she was within days of her due date and wanted to get this labor moving we went and got ice cream afterwards.

  And Cassy had Carter Monday morning :)

As for Chris he is in transition to another base. As I have said before thank you to everyone who has sent Chris packages but hold off on sending anything for awhile until we get a confirmation on his new address. Where he is at now he has access to wifi which is wonderful because when he has time he is able to text from his IPOD. It really is amazing how technology has changed over the years. Makes the days a lot easier when I am able to hear from him almost daily. And here we are almost to May! Can you believe it!

I am heading into a very busy couple weeks of school as we head into finals. And the last week before the marathon. I am just trying to keep my head above water right now. My plate is definitely very full but after the marathon and finals we have some smooth sailing for awhile. I am so excited to see everyone out in support of Chris this weekend at the marathon. The shirts have come in and it seems as if everything is coming together.

There are many days right now when I feel completely overwhelmed. I haven't slept in weeks. I was excited to be able to "sleep in" until 7:30 this morning. And I will be kicking myself for that though because I will not get a final run in today but I needed sleep. We just keep thinking about the end of this, September, when life will go back to normal.

"A strong woman know she has strength enough for the journey, but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong."