Week 30!

Chris has been gone for 30 weeks... Geeze. I remember doing 6 and 8 week roundups and now we are to #30! Basically it has been 7 months since Chris left for Afghanistan and we are still going strong here at home and overseas. We are counting down the final weeks until he leaves Afghanistan and we prepare to wrap up the summer by staying busy in the month of August. Last week Audrey and  I spent some time on bike rides and at the zoo to keep busy.

After a hot day at the zoo she dumped a water bottle on her head when we got to the car. Oh well, it was pretty warm that day!

It is looking like Chris will leave Afghanistan during the second week of September (hopefully) So within the next 2 months he will be home :)) Tomorrow starts August which is huge! This is the last full month that Chris will be gone. We do not know exactly when he will be home in September but he WILL be home in September so just knowing that we have to get through August is so exciting! We have made it this far, one more month is nothing :)) To think that we are thinking about homecoming and talking about it in a matter of weeks brings tears to my eyes. It is getting so close but we still have some work to do! Chris and his guys have to still finish out their jobs overseas and Audrey and  I will be keeping busy this month as well.

I believe we may have found a house which is exciting! Finding/buying a house is the most stressful process ever. Especially when I don't have Chris here to help me make a decision. But I think we have decided on one so we will see if all goes well we will be homeowners before we know it! Also, fall classes start in a few weeks so that will start another hectic schedule. But that just means that we are getting closer to Chris coming home. So 7 months over!! What a long road this has been but it is almost over :))

London Olympics 2012

So the latest craze here at the Miller house (and all across the rest of the world) are the summer Olympics! I remember watching the Olympics as a little girl with my mom for hours and being completely consumed in them... well it hasn't changed. I was so excited to watch the Olympics with Audrey and it turns out she loves them too. Most evenings we spend catching up on the events from the day and watching the prime time events. Our favorites are gymnastics and swimming and I love to watch women's soccer (I played for a lot of years). Also, water polo is intense! But pretty much whatever event is on TV we watch! We just love it! So tonight we decided to doing a little painting while watching synchronized diving which is also pretty crazy! We used toilet paper and paper towel rolls to make the Olympic rings!

I wrote the words of course but Audrey did the rings. I did help her with what colors went where and when I walked away for a second she started free painting the side of the paper. Oh well, it's her project! Super easy one for little ones :) Excited for the rest of the Olympics it gives us Miller girls something to do in the evenings with only a few (hopefully 5) weeks left with deployment!!

24 hours

It has been 24 hours since I have heard from Chris. What a spoiled brat I am. Really I am. I generally hear from Chris once a day if not more so if it goes a day or two without communication I worry. I know the military wife saying that "no news is good news" but I can't help but let my mind wonder. Maybe spoiled brat is the word but the communication is so good now so that is what we are used too. Even in 2008 in Iraq we only relied on emails every other day with a few phone calls through the entire deployment. Now I have the luxury of messages straight to my phone from Chris when he can at any time of the day. I have said in the past how great the communication is but it does have its down falls because then I worry if I don't hear from him. I am sure everything is fine but after my phone rang the other day to find out that 2 of their guys were injuries after coming under fire I can't help but to worry here at home. I cannot wait until this feeling goes away once he is home and I do not have to worry about the next time I will hear from him. 

10 Things Your Soldier Wants You To Know (Homecoming)

As homecoming gets closer and closer and we are so excited I am worried how life will reintegrate to what we used to know. I know it will be different but how different. I read somewhere a few months back that "homecoming is the hardest part of deployment" and I will never forget this statement. If you have never done this before you could not understand how those seven words even make sense. But for me doing this once already I am thinking about homecoming and it scares me to death. Of course, not that first wonderful days once Chris gets home. Then we are going on vacation for a week so life will be amazing. But it is life after all the great vacations and sleeping in and eating out and no work our life has to go back to "normal". We have to go back to work, we have to go back to a schedule, we have to go back to laundry and dishes and schedules and the craziness of the Miller family. I know this is normal for me to feel like this but the excitement and anxiety of homecoming are hitting me hard this week. I stumbled cross this top 10 list of things your soldier wants you to know. It was written by a psychiatrist that treats veterans coming back from deployments. #1 pretty much sums up our life. A good read for any military spouse. 

1. He is addicted to war, although he loves you. War is horrible, but there is nothing like a life-and-death fight to make you feel truly alive. The adrenaline rush is tremendous, and can never be replaced. Succeeding in combat defines a warrior, places him in a brotherhood where he is always welcome and understood. 

2. Living for you is harder. It would be easy for him to die for you because he loves you. Living for you, which is what you actually want, is harder for him. It is even harder for him if you are smart and do not need him to rescue you, since rescuing is something he does really well.

 3. “The training kicks in” means something very different to him. It is direct battle doctrine that when ambushed by a superior force, the correct response is “Apply maximum firepower and break contact.” Unfortunately, your tears are unbearable to him; they create explosive emotions in him that are difficult for him to control. Unfortunately, warriors frequently respond to strong waves of guilt by applying more “maximum firepower” on friends, family, or unfortunate strangers.

4. He is afraid to get attached to anyone because he has learned that the people you love get killed, and he cannot face that pain again. He may make an exception for his children (because they cannot divorce him), but that will be instinctual and he will probably not be able to explain his actions.

5. He knows the military exists for a reason.  The sad fact is that a military exists ultimately to kill people and break things. This was true of our beloved “Greatest Generation” warriors of WWII, and it remains true to this day. Technically, your warrior may well be a killer, as are his friends. He may have a hard time seeing that this does not make him a murderer. He is a sheepdog, not a wolf. The emotional side of killing in combat is complex. He may not know how to feel about what he’s seen or done, and he may not expect his feelings to change over time. Warriors can experiences moments of profound guilt, shame, and self-hatred. He may have experienced a momentary elation at “scoring one for the good guys,” then been horrified that he celebrated killing a human being. He may view himself as a monster for having those emotions, or for having gotten used to killing because it happened often. One of my Marines recommended On Killingby Dave Grossman, and I would pass that recommendation on.

6. He’s had to cultivate explosive anger in order to survive in combat. He may have grown up with explosive anger (violent alcoholic father?) as well.

7. He may have been only nineteen when he first had to make a life and death decision for someone else. What kind of skills does a nineteen-year-old have to deal with that kind of responsibility?

 8. He may believe that he’s the only one who feels this way; eventually he may realize that at least other combat vets understand. On some level, he doesn’t want you to understand, because that would mean you had shared his most horrible experience, and he wants someone to remain innocent.

9. He doesn’t understand that you have a mama bear inside of you, that probably any of us could kill in defense of someone if we needed to. Imagine your reaction if someone pointed a weapon at your child. Would it change your reaction if a child pointed a weapon at your child?

10. When you don’t understand, he needs you to give him the benefit of the doubt.  He needs you also to realize that his issues really aren’t about you, although you may step in them sometimes.

 

Becoming More Domestic: Lasagna Roll Ups

I found a more kid friendly version of lasagna.... Audrey calls them mini lasagna! Perfect for kids, cooking for 2 or even for yourself because you can make as many or as few as needed. Then you don't have to make an entire pan of lasagna if you don't need it!

Looks like regular lasagna right? Well that it is but each lasagna noodle is rolled up individual! Perfect!

Ingredients:

Copied from Cooking Classy blog.

Disclaimer: I did not use all of these or used something I had at the house and it still turned out great! I threw these together on stuff I had in the fridge and I had the majority of this stuff so it totally worked! 

4 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
1/2 lb lean ground beef
1/4 cup finely chopped yellow onion
1 (28 oz) can crushed tomatoes (I'd recommend Contadina Brand)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 Tbsp dried basil
1/2 tsp dried oregano
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste


1 (15 oz) container Ricotta Cheese
1 large egg
1/3 cup fresh flat leaf parsley (aka Italian Parsley, its about 1 small handful), chopped
2 1/4 cups freshly grated Mozzarella Cheese, divided
3/4 cup freshly, finely grated Parmesan Cheese, divided
1/3 cup freshly, finely grated Romano Cheese
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper

So basically everything you would need for regular lasagna. 

Cook lasagna noodles like usual. Brown the ground beef and add the onions. Her blog suggested putting them in the a food processor then adding tomatoes and the rest of the spices... I did not. I just used a can of pasta sauce and kept the meat and onions their normal size worked out great. Quick and easy! What I need! Then in a seperate bowl mix cheeses, egg, salt and pepper. I did not have any romano cheese. I think it still turned out okay. There is really a fancy way to do this and then there is well... my way. I laid out the noodles and then put a layer of the cheese mixture followed by a layer of spaghetti sauce then a spoonful of the meat at one end. Roll the noodle up and arrange seam side down in a 13 by 9 inch pan depending on how many you are making. 

 Cover with foil and bake for 35 minutes at 375 degrees. So this is a take on a pretty extensive recipe... I did it the simple way and it turned out really good. I you have time/ambition I bet the presentation of the original recipe is much better than mine but we are pretty simple people. I love the idea of rolling up the lasagna for kids! Enjoy!

Easy Bird Feeders for Toddlers

Bird Feeders for virtually zero cost. We had all the supplies here at home.

What you need:

 Toilet paper rolls, old juice containers, anything that is a cylinder.

Creamy peanut butter

Just coat the cylinder with peanut butter than role in bird seed and done!

Then just stick it on a tree branch and wait for the birds to come!

Audrey got a kick on checking them every morning to see if any of the seeds were gone. Also, we got a lot of unexpected visitors... squirrels! And for the plastic containers when the birds/squirrels eat all the seeds or it happens to rain you can just spray them off and do it again! Keeps a three year old busy :) 

(Next time we will put them together outside, lots of birdseed all over the kitchen)

Week 29!

Week 29 was bad, I mean really bad here at home. Holy crazy sickness running through our house! The beginning of the week started out fine. Like I said, the first week that I am home with Audrey more :) Amazing! I've got so much stuff done around the house and her and I have tons of time to play! I am learning time management is still huge while home with Audrey because the day still seems to slip away. I am trying to keep her busy and on track as they do at her preschool because she's such a good kid I don't want her to veer off that schedule. And she is still there 3 days a week so she gets plenty of time to socialize and interact with kids her age. We play outside, go to the park, work on projects for Chris, work on reading, writing, and learning also! I wish I could be home everyday with her. I know the working mom want to be home and the stay at home moms want a break but I really would love to be home with a whole houseful of kids! Anyways, that's not the case but it is nice for some wishful thinking. 

So life was great until Friday morning as I was putting Audrey in her car seat on the way to school/work when she proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere... I mean everywhere. Crap, I had to be at work in a half hour and Audrey was sick. Again, another downfall of living the "single mom" life while Chris is deployed, I am left to fend for myself. There is nothing I can do. I cannot send her to school sick, I cannot send her to my mom's sick, or the neighbors... so I would have to call off work! That has never happened but I had a sick kid and nowhere to take her so we planned a day of snuggling on the couch. She continued to throw up a few more times that morning but by the afternoon she seemed to be back to her chipper self. Maybe a little flu bug or something she ate? Either way she bounced back beautifully and we were hanging outside by that evening. Come Saturday night I did have the same luck. 

After meeting my dad and rest of the family at a local sports bar from dinner, Audrey and I went home Saturday and played outside until it got dark outside. I went to bed with a little bit of an upset stomach but nothing major. Come 3am that all changed. I continued to throw up for almost 16 hours straight nearly every half hour or every time I put something in my system. We were suppose to go to Maumee Bay on Sunday to swim with the family but there was no way I could be further than 15 feet from the bathroom. Thank goodness my sister still offered to take Audrey out to the beach so I could get some rest. Than  Donna took her for a few hours in the evening because I was still not better. Moms don't have time to be sick! Especially me! A huge thank you to my sister and Donna for helping me out because poor Audrey would have been locked in the house for an entire day because I could not get out of bed! I am almost positive I had food poisoning from dinner Saturday night ... stomach cramps, body aches, fever along with the throwing up :/ So needless to say our weekend was consumed with being sick! By Monday I was still kinda weak but on the upswing :) 

And here we head into Week 30! I am so excited to I say that with everything going on I finished my accelerated summer classes strong! Now a little break until 3 more classes in the fall and I am done. I will finally have my bachelor's degree :))) It has been a long road but I am getting there with the support and motivation from Chris I feel like I can do anything :)) Okay, that was kinda cheesy but it is true even from Afghanistan he motivated me to get through my days! So we head into week 30 and we are looking at a few houses this week so hopefully something strikes me because thus far I have had no such luck. And then next week is August... the last full month alone. This is huge! Because Chris will be home in Septemeber! Some of the guys are beginning to start to come home and it will be only a matter of time until it is Chris' flight headed to the states. This is almost over!!! Thanks for all of the support and love guys!! 

Detroit Marathon...Too much? Am I just plain crazy?

I have been wanting to run the Detroit Marathon for the past 2 years now and it just never works out. Last year I trained all summer and then Chris' call to duty ceremony was the same weekend. Obviously I would be at the ceremony and other obligations as they prepared to leave for deployment just days later. But this year after running the Glass City Marathon I had the fever. But as I look toward the fall I wonder how crazy I can possibly be for thinking about Detroit this year. There are so many factors to take into consideration. Could I possibly do this?! Chris will probably be home about three weeks before the marathon which means crazy schedules, busy doing things we haven't been able to do as a family all summer (Cedar Point, eating out, going out, Put-in-Bay, etc.) We are on vacation just 2 weeks before the marathon which means probably no running, and lots of eating and drinking, you know fun vacation stuff. Nothing really healthy. Then there is the whole training thing. Now with Audrey in school part time that gives me no time to run while she in school. Before I could sneak out for a run between classes or a quick one before work but there is not time because I am close to going over my part time hours with just my work schedule. Last summer when Chris was home I would get up at the crack of dawn and put in 18-20 mile runs while they were still sleeping. I cannot exactly do that now with it just being Audrey and I here. I also have one more semester of school left before graduation. So on top the adjustments of homecoming I will have a full course load in the fall and have to try to juggle that on top of everything else. And here is the last, and most important factor. We will be moving this fall. We are in the process of buying our first home and our lease is up here in October. The marathon is October 23rd. I want to close on the home and move before the end of October. (in between homecoming, vacation, school, etc...) Looking around at our house and the amount of organizing, packing, "getting rid of", just the amount of work it will be to move in the mix of everything else seems completely overwhelming. That doesn't include some work on the new house. I feel like it will take any "extra" time I have to work on that. I really want to run Detroit this year and after my Glass City results coming in the mail yesterday it had me thinking about it even more. 

Plus, I know I can do a much better time than this. I ran that marathon on virtually no training and a torn up knee. I don't want to be in that position again, it honestly was horrible. I don't want October to get here and me realize I am not trained for prepared for Detroit simply because I have not had the time.

Also, hopefully sometime in 2013 we may be expecting Baby Miller #2 (that's the plan anyways) so there will be no running a marathon anytime next year that's why I wanted to do Detroit this year. Maybe I can make a goal to run a marathon after having another baby  when life settles down a little bit. 

 I am always one to overextend myself but I am I just crazy or just making excuses? I'd love thoughts on this. I mean sometimes I think I am just making excuses but at other times I think I would be just plain crazy to think that I could fit a marathon into our busy fall schedule. I believe I changed the settings on the blog so you can comment anonymously so you don't have to have an account. Just leave your name! Thanks for the support guys :)))

Week 28: Better late than never!

Audrey and Hudson getting so big!

I've kinda steered clear of blogging for a few days because really there isn't a whole lot going on here. What, did I just say that? No but life just keeps going on in a pretty routine fashion. Week 28 was work and school and that's really about it. I had to work last Saturday and Audrey was with my mom on Sunday while I had to work on a project that consumed my whole day. Other that that not a whole lot happening here. As for Chris they pushed back their homecoming back a few days but I still don't even really pay attention to that anymore. Even when we are given a date it changes... we all know how the military works. So all I know is he will be home in September and the way it looks now it will be the very end of September but September none the less. This week is the first week of Audrey going to school part time and me being able to be home with her a few days during the week. Can you say excited!! She used to have to go everyday while Chris is gone for close to 8 hours a day with my busy schedule. Since my summer classes ended and I can't get back to work on those days I decided to keep Audrey home with me and only work part time. Saved money on daycare but will also will be a pay cut since I am only there 3 days a week but how wonderful it will be to be home with Audrey more :) I am so excited for the fun things we will be able to do now that I am home more! Looks for lots of posts now :) Almost through week 29 already and flying right into August! Yay!




 Audrey's countdown! We are in the home stretch now!

Big Winner

So Chris and I had a pretty intense conversation this morning about money, jobs, you know the big kids kinda stuff that I hate. Sometimes I'd rather fly through life with Chris and Audrey with no budgets, worries, responsibilities (but we all know that is not possible) It made me have a crappy morning and I know it kinda wrecked his evening in Afghanistan. He doesn't want to go on vacation now because he wants to save money (as do I) but I think our family needs a break no matter what. No matter what the cost. I think some people get some misconception that deployed soldiers make a ton but that is not that case. Granted we are saving a lot while Chris is gone but we are just a middle class family going through a military life. After that intense conversation this morning I was depressed. I mean we do things the right way. We save money, we don't have credit card debt, we don't overextend ourselves. Hell, I drive a 2004 Saturn (because I do not want a car payment) And even though I feel like we are doing it the right way (if there is one) I was drowning in financial life and I felt like I was not saving enough. It does not help that Audrey's daycare is a ton per week while Chris is deployed and my work was not cooperating now that I am done with summer classes. Either way I was having a bad day so after work I decided to play a $10 lotto ticket.  What do you know I won $410!! To me this is proof that things will work out. In the end, I am convinced that good things happen to good people <3 

Cards to Audrey from Daddy

So after a very busy week last week Audrey came home to some mail from Daddy :) She was so excited and as I choked up as I read this card to her it made us miss him even more! He is such a great Dad and even though I know he hates writing and it' s hard for him to show his feelings I think this is amazing! Last week Chris told me how he doesn't think that he will be able to communicate with normal people when he gets home... like anyone other than military as that is what he has dealt with for a year. Well he put the "F" word in card addressed to Audrey so I would say he may be right. I think we have a lot of work to do when he gets home. But it will be all worth it!

The card was in German... that is what Chris is referring to at the end. I omitted the "F" word when I read it to Audrey lol It will be one to look back on years down the road and laugh at :)

Our 4th of July: Part 2 ( Week 27)

At the end of last week we headed down to Columbus to visit their zoo, aquarium and water park. All three things Audrey loved (as did I) and last minute we decided to take my little brother along... it was a really fun weekend. I have a ton of pictures but here are a few from our trip!
 A 3 day weekend in Columbus :)

First night: Dave and Busters!

We had another couple and their kids with us as well as their nephews so a lot of kids but they were very good.

Day 1: Zoombezi Bay

Audrey is in heaven in any water park and with 100 degree plus temps we had a lot of fun!

I brought my little brother Dylan because as a 15 year old in the summer he does not have a whole lot going on. I warned him on the ages of kids but I think he had fun and he helped me a lot with Audrey! He is such a great kid and I hope when my kids are his age they are half as good of kids as he is! He thanked me numerous times and was very grateful and polite for me taking him. What a good kid he is!! And Audrey just loves him :)

Evenings were spent playing basketball at the hotel

"Monitoring the children"

Or the kids were in the pool... she is a fish!

Marco Polo with Uncle D

Summer and Audrey

Hanging with the big kids!

Day 2: Columbus Zoo

I was really impressed with their zoo. I am so glad we decided to do this weekend because it was perfect for Audrey! I hope to make this a yearly trip once Chris is home because everything is connected and Audrey had a blast!

Ice cream on a hot day!

And it was military day at the zoo on Saturday... sooo you know that meant I was welling up with tears most of the day. Men in uniform and men who I know were military (you know the look) with their families were everywhere. At one point 3 military personnel in their uniforms walked by and Audrey said, "Look at the army guys Mom, it looks like my Dad!" As the men turned around and waved at her and then smiled at me. Ahhh breaks my heart! But she is so proud and unaware that behind my sunglasses I had tears streaming down my face. 

Looks just like Daddy!

Petting Zoo

And then she insisted on a face paint

This was so cool... you could view the polar bears from above but you could also go underneath and they played in the water and you could walk below them! Audrey loved it but there was a ton of people down there.

Baby foxes trying to stay cool.

Moose!

Asian Adventure!

This was the best exhibit... huge bats hanging! We could have watched them for hours!

Audrey loved the monkeys... they kept coming up to the glass and playing with her!

I am 26 and I think this is the first time I have ever seen flamingos in real life! I was just as amazed as Audrey!

Aquarium!

Watching the keeper feel the penguins

Touching turtles

The life...

Like I said, I was really impressed with their zoo. We have been to some other zoos and aquariums elsewhere but I really like Columbus! We will definitely be back! Hopefully we can make this an annual summer trip to visit the water park and zoo in Columbus!

27 weeks down and although Chris' homecoming date has been pushed back a little :( we are still chuggin' along until he comes home. We are almost half way through July already. We have such a busy fall coming up once Chris gets home and before we know it we will be getting ready for Christmas. I can't wait!!