The Fair!!

Audrey and I spent our day off this week at the Fair! A day at the fair turned into an emotional roller coaster for me but we had a blast. We go to the fair every year and this year to go without Chris turned out to be a lot harder than I thought. Wednesday we got up early ran a few errands then headed down to BG to spend the day eating fair food, playing games, riding rides and checking out the animals. Holidays are hard alone, birthdays, anniversaries, everything that we have done in the last year without Chris. They are hard and I am a pretty emotional person when my husband is not deployed so you can imagine how I have fared this last year (okay, its not that bad but I cry a lot). Anyways a few weeks back I started thinking about homecoming and how close it was. Then I thought about the fact that between now and the end of September there are no major holidays to get through, just everyday life. No big events, vacations or parties. We were to the point where when thinking about doing something I say "we can just go when Chris gets home". He's missed so much I don't want to do anything else without him. But at the fair Wednesday I found myself in an unexpected complete meltdown. Normally, I know holidays will be hard and I am prepared for that but I was not prepared for the overload of emotions that happened at the fair. 

We go to the fair together every year together. While at the fair Chris was texting me and I was trying to send him pictures of Audrey (that didn't go through) but I wanted him to know what she was doing and how much she loved it! But I did not think I would be so emotional that Chris was not there. We were walking through the walkways of fair food, games and rides. A local country station was there and blaring country music. Audrey and I were walking hand in hand and all of a sudden I began to sob. I think it was the entire atmosphere of the fair, the aura of everything, the country music and the fact that Chris was not there but so close to coming home. I could feel the tears stream down my face behind my big sunglasses and I couldn't stop. Audrey had no idea but I could not even control my emotions. Totally came out of nowhere and then I was so mad that I let myself get so worked up over something so silly. But afterwards I realized it wasn't silly. Chris has been gone for over 7 months and I guess I was to my breaking point during something that we have always done together. But short of my little meltdown, Audrey and I had a lot of fun and spend most of the day playing :) 

(I only had my phone so the pics are not the best)

Fair food!

Of course she found a sand box!

 Baby chicks hatching

Our favorite part... the pigs!

Afterwards we were hot and dirty! But that's what it is all about it's fair! We had a lot of fun but things just aren't the same without Chris. Only a few more weeks and we wont have to do anything without him. Come on September!! We are almost done :))