21 weeks down

21 weeks... well... week 21 was a tough one. I started my first week of summer classes and absolutely loved them! I have never been a huge school person... I mean I went to college because I "had" to, I mean it's what you do. You graduate high school and go to college but I never took it as serious as I should have. Even after Chris and I got married and after Audrey was born school always took the back burner...until now. I really do enjoy going to class. I am excited to finish out these last few classes and I even brought up the "G" word to Chris. Yep, Grad school! I'd love to go to grad school... but in due time. I want our family to grow and get settled after this deployment then we will worry about furthering my education... and my student loans for the matter lol. Of course, Chris is supportive of whatever goals I have but I know that I want to take a break for a little bit and let life settle down once he gets home from Afghanistan.

Anyways, after a week back to school and work Audrey and I took off to my dads for the long weekend. It was amazing :) Life is easy up there. 20 acres of back roads for 4-wheelers, sunshine, beaches and nothing but hanging out on the deck and easy living. But as excited as we were to spend time with the family I was equally sad that Chris would not be there. It had been years since I have been up to my dads without Chris so this made for a hard weekend. I can get through our daily routine alone but when trying to do things that we normally do as a family and having to do them alone is the hardest. But we did have fun and beast was hysterical... I will try and get a post of Memorial Day weekend up tonight or tomorrow. 

As we head past month 5, things are hard for Chris... I know they are. Even if he pretends that he's not, I know he is struggling. He will never admit it but I know he the days are long in Afghanistan without Audrey and I. He tries to vent to me but I don't understand what he is going through... this many years later you would think I get it. But I don't. I don't think you can ever understand what our servicemen and women go through overseas unless you've done it.  I try and be as supportive as I can but sometimes I just don't know what to say. What do I say? I mean yes, of course my life gets stressful but how can I even complain compared to what he has to deal with. He says he drinks a case of water a day and still is dehydrated.  And I complain about being "stressed"... or stress if I am out of coffee creamer. Seems if he is miserable every time I talk to him and it makes the days harder here for me. But we have to keep going... all I can think about anymore is homecoming. June, July, August and September then this one is over. 5 months of this and sometimes I know I am definitely at my breaking point but we have to keep going, we have to keep trying to be positive. 

21 Weeks and we are over half way through this deployment... so we look forward to week 22 and welcoming the month of June!! May was such a busy month while June should slow down a bit. We do not have a many plans until the 4th of July weekend so June should be a month of routine, school, work, and summer fun :) This coming weekend is the first weekend in a long time that we have no plans at all! I am really excited to just hang out, get some homework and housework done. Maybe Audrey and I will get out to Maumee Bay for some fun before another hectic week starts. 

Sometimes I cannot believe that Chris has been in Afghanistan for 5 months but sometimes I think its an eternity until he gets home. Some days are harder than other and some weeks are harder than others. Of course we had fun last week up at my dads its just not the same without him there. So excited for these next 4 months to fly by so life can go back to normal. I cannot wait until this is over and tears go away.